that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
