There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
