so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
