Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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