it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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