I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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