New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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