The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize