she was so not down for the gang bang
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
