I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
