no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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