Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Randomize
