I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
either way he was missing a nipple.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
