I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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