Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
