quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize