At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
