she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
