Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
