i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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