it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize