So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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