Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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