yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Boobs speak an international language.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
