He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize