You're completely useless in the revolution.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize