I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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