They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
