So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
