i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
