The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We named our party play list daddy issues
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
