i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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