so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
