You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
