Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
