they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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