16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
