it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
