the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
