Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
