I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
accomplished twins. life is a go
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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