Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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