there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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