She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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