Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
