Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
