Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
