it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize