do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
