note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Randomize
