I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
