I wanna bring you to show and tell
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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