the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
