i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
