I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
