I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
