what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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