I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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