apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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