Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
