My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
