Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
