I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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