I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
