it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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