i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
