Duck Duck Cougar?
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Randomize
