addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
