We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
