Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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