He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Randomize
