our cab driver is having phone sex.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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