Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
