I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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