I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize