The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
