I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
